Donald
Trump.
U.S. President • Economy / tariffs / trade
Sanae
Takaichi.
Japan's Prime Minister • Yen / spending / budget
Xi
Jinping.
China's President • Industry / trade / stimulus
02 / THE MONEY-NEWS OLYMPICS
Who's winning the headlines?
A playful contest based on how many finance-related articles appear in a 24-hour public news sample—not whose economy is strongest.
03 / ACTUAL FINANCIAL MOVES
Real news. No fan fiction.
Recent activity and finance-focused coverage, linked to the publisher via Google News. Verify the original story before treating a headline as a decision.
🐝 A separate Docker worker collects and archives public RSS feeds every 15 minutes, even if this browser tab is closed. The page also checks the local server every 15 minutes. News services can be delayed or unreachable; timestamps and failed fetches are shown, never replaced with made-up headlines.
04 / THE BACKGROUND NEWSROOM
Collected while you weren't watching.
A real SQLite archive that continues gathering public financial and activity headlines after you close this tab.
Waiting for the first background collection…
05 / THE EXTREMELY UNNECESSARY FEATURE
Three leaders. Zero chill.
Everything in this area is fictional parody. No joke is a real quote, headline, event or statement.
Trump, Takaichi and Xi join a group chat called “Global Finance.” The only thing they agree on is muting notifications.
✍️ Your parody news desk
Submit fictional parody about any of the three leaders. Save privately, publish to this Docker demo with the admin token, or copy an HTML card for your Hostinger site.
Drafts stay private unless you press Publish with the correct token.
👀 Preview + publish
Exactly how your joke could appear to visitors. Label stays attached when you copy it.
Your imaginary breaking news goes here…
Choose a leader and write your joke on the left.
For Hostinger / simple HTML hosting: open index.html, find PASTE YOUR JOKE HTML HERE, paste your copied HTML, and re-upload. The Docker publish button instead saves your joke to the local database.
📣 Published parody wall
Jokes published with the admin token are shown below. You can also edit the original example cards directly in the HTML.
The global group chat
Three leaders opened a group chat to fix the world economy. Everyone immediately asked who was paying for the Wi-Fi.
The greatest spreadsheet
A spreadsheet claims to have won an election. The calculator has requested legal counsel.
Budget meeting, episode 17
One PowerPoint slide asked for a raise. Finance asked it to submit the request in triplicate.
The panda index
A fictional panda announced an economic stimulus package consisting entirely of extra bamboo breaks.